A Day In The Life...

Created

2011-12-07T13:03:00.001-08:00

As we sit here in December, once again unemployed (a topic for another post), I am trying, desperately, to focus on the important things. And as I have had a particularly frustrating morning with my one year old I am trying to remember all the positives about my children especially. As I sat thinking about them I thought of some wonderful things and wanted to write them down while they sounded so nice in my head :)

A letter to my daughters,

When I was young I always had a strong urge to create. I longed to be more than I was. I read, A LOT. I wanted a life that was something out of book. A life that was spectacular in some way, by something that I did. A great quest was always something that sounded fabulous, not reality but fabulous all the same. So I scaled down.

I thought it would be incredible to be a drawer or a painter. Alas, I quickly found that I had no natural talent for it and no desire to learn technique for either drawing or painting. *sigh* I thought I could be a writer. I wrote a few small things and even submitted one short story to a children's magazine, which was not published. Again I found myself in world where I was okay, but not great. *sigh* I tried my hand at music and found a natural ability there... for years I played the violin and truly enjoyed it. I even sang in several choirs. However, I was never "great" and I was not good at writing music. So really I was an outlet and not a "creator". *sigh, again*

As I got older I tried different ways of "creating". I took a pottery class in college (looked like a fourth grader did my projects). Then there were a few things that I enjoyed and was okay at: photography (just enough to have some great photos you girls), scrapbooking (to preserve the pictures, even if keeping up with it is nearly impossible) and crocheting. All of these things I was fine at but my creating itch was never fully scratched and my life was still not spectacular... that is until one day I realized I had created something, done something pretty.... grand.

Three somethings to be exact.

I didn't do it on my own but I did a big part of it. I created three little lives. I carried you all, I helped to create your features, your personalities and your lives. I was, and still am, blessed to be at home helping forge who you are. I am helping to mold who you will be one day. Teaching manners and life lessons of all kinds. Kissing boo-boos and drying tears. Helping deal with disappointments and excitements beyond your dreams. Fostering your imaginations and helping you not to grow up too fast.

Your lives are the stories and poems that I never wrote. Your songs and laughter are the music I couldn't create. Your giggles are choirs singing opuses that I couldn't fathom. Your faces, happy, sad, angry, are paintings and drawings far beyond anything I could have imagined. No photograph or scrapbook can replace looking at your face as we watch fireworks together on the fourth of July. Or the pride I feel as you reach out to help someone. Helping you through your life until you are grown is my prodigious quest. So maybe I'm not "great". Maybe my life isn't book-worthy. My life may look down-right boring and trite from the outside looking in. And while there are many thankless parts of my life, I've become what I always wanted to be.... a creator, someone who has made a mark on the world. That mark is you. You helped me to have the kind of life that I wanted. Thank you, my creations, you have blessed me beyond measure. I will strive from now on to be the best molder, forger, encourager and "creator" of your lives that I can be. I will mess up though, so hang on. We have a great story ahead of us.

I love you,

Mom

Brianna, Clara and Audrey ~ Halloween 2011

Grateful, Day 30

2011-11-30T13:00:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my friends. Old ones, new ones, all. Being in a military area there are a lot of people who come and go (which I hate) in my life. It's not always fun bit it has allowed me to meet wonderful friends that I otherwise wouldn't have. Thanks to all of you whom I count as a friend! :)

Grateful, Day 29

2011-11-29T14:14:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for Derek's job. We've had a rough few years and this is the first November since 2008 that he's had a job. We are thankful for that provision and for all that it is allowing us to do.
I am also grateful that gas prices are coming down a bit :)

Grateful, Day 28

2011-11-28T14:09:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my parents. Today is my 29th birthday and without them I wouldn't be here. Even though I didn't have the most traditional upbringing I always knew that I was loved and wanted. I have now been blessed with a wonderful step-dad who treats me and my kids as if we were biologically part of his family. Feeling the love today :)

Grateful, Day 27

2011-11-27T21:06:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for unhurried days. With three kids, one in school and two in various activities, we're busy... all the time. Today we just went to church and then chilled the rest of the day. Now we're getting ready to head out to buy some Christmas lights for the outside of our house. So thankful Derek will indulge me and put them on the house for me :)

Edited to add... all done with the lights, they look fantastic. Audrey picked out rainbow colored ones and I think they're perfect!

Picture taken with my phone :)

Grateful, Day 26

2011-11-26T14:01:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for sleeping in... seriously. I haven't done that very much in the last six years since becoming a parent. Plus, now we're so busy it isn't always an option. But today I got to sleep in until blissful 10:00!! On top of that, my wonderful husband had a hot breakfast waiting for me when I got up! Have I mentioned how thankful I am for him?

Grateful, Day 25

2011-11-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my bed and lots of coffee... no joking! I am also grateful for my sister-in-law. We've really become good friends over the last few years. I am also grateful that she went black Friday shopping with me and allowed me to drag her all over the county until the wee hours of the morning. :D (hence the need for lots of coffee) I am also grateful for a weekend with lots of opportunity to spend time with friends.

Grateful, Day 24

2011-11-24T13:56:00.000-08:00

Sounds cliche since it is Thanksgiving but today I am grateful for my family and friends. I truly enjoyed hosting Thanksgiving at my house, and I wasn't sure that I would. It was not at all stressful and I think everything turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself. :) It was nice to spend a day just relaxing with friends and family. Although I do have to admit that I am a little bummed that I didn't take any pictures of my beautifully browned turkey after it came out of the oven :)

Grateful, Day 23

2011-11-23T13:53:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for food to eat. As I sit here planning out my Thanksgiving menu and wondering if I am preparing enough food I am struck with the realization at how blessed we are to have so much food. Thank you Lord for your provision. We are also thankful for Derek's job that is allowing us to host Thanksgiving this year and have over some lovely friends who are missing their dad/husband who is gone this holiday season out to sea.

Grateful, Day 22

2011-11-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

Today I am truly thankful for the rain. We have been getting a lot of it (yes, even for us) in the last few days but at least it isn't snow. Last year during this week we had a massive snow storm that made us lose power for 3.5 days. We ended up sleeping on the floor at church one night just to be warm. It took almost 24 hours for our house to feel warm once we got power back. Yes, endless rain can be annoying but at least we can be warm and at home in our own beds.

Grateful, Day 21

2011-11-21T13:46:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my Brianna Rose. Three years and seven months ago today she shot into our lives and has been entertaining us ever since. She may be little but she definitely makes up for it in personality. She has a quick wit and loves to make people laugh. She's adventurous, as long as she has the right accessories, and love to give out hugs. I love you my B-bug! I can't wait to see what wonderful things are going to happen in your life!

Brianna waiting "patiently" for Audrey's assembly to start - 11/10/11

Grateful, Day 20

2011-11-20T13:40:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for all the hat orders I have been getting. I am really enjoying making hats for so many people that I know. Plus, it's so much fun to see the kids in them when I am finished! The money is always a bonus too, especially this time of year!

G. kiddos in Viking Hats

Baylor University, girl earflap beanie

Skull beanie for a friend of mine

Grateful, Day 19

2011-11-19T13:38:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my garage! I have never had one before and it has been so nice to be able to get the kids in and out of the car without getting rained on. This morning I didn't have to scrap frost off of my windshield. It's such a blessing!! I love our new place so much!

Grateful, Day 18

2011-11-18T13:36:00.000-08:00

Today I am so thankful for my husband. Derek is a great husband in so many ways but one of the best is the way he has no trouble with me going out on my own every once in a while. Tonight I am headed to the movies and he never even batted an eye when I asked if he minded if I go... especially since he's had a long week at work too. Thanks honey! You're the best.

Derek and Clara at the corn maze - October 2011

Grateful, Day 17

2011-11-17T13:34:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for nap times. I have several mom friends who do not have kiddos that nap much any more and I am grateful that mine still do. Brianna doesn't sleep much anymore but she will lay quietly in her bed for 2 hours for rest time. I don't know what I would do without that time to myself. Seems like such a little, insignificant, thing but that recharging time is great. Thanks girls, you're the best!

Grateful, Day 16

2011-11-16T13:32:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for Audrey's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. B. She has made Audrey's first year of school a blast so far. Audrey loves school so much that she told me it is the "funnest place on Earth". I have been in Audrey's classroom to volunteer several times now and love the way Mrs. B handles the children and makes sure that the behavior challenging kids do not detract from the learning of others. I pray that Audrey continues to love school and be blessed with years and years of wonderful teachers.

Grateful, Day 15

2011-11-15T13:28:00.000-08:00

Today is my dad's birthday. I am grateful for him specifically today. Even though we've spent more time apart then together over the years I have always known that he loves me. Happy Birthday Dad!

P.S. I am also grateful for my hairstylist. Got my hair cut today and I love it. :)

Grateful, Day 14

2011-11-14T13:22:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for our small group at church. Two years ago we started attending this small group as a way to get closer to those at our church in a smaller setting. It's a place where we can study about God together and also have a great time. We really enjoy our time there. We always laugh a LOT and we can completely be ourselves... no pretenses. They are our family in the church. LOVE our small group :)

Grateful, Day 13

2011-11-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for Derek. He is a wonderful and supportive husband. He didn't bat an eye when I told him that I wanted to do a craft fair. Even thought it meant I would be gone 90% of the weekend and he'd be on his own with the kiddos on his day off. He is an excellent dad and the girls love spending that time with just daddy. He didn't complain once and didn't even mind when it didn't go well for me, meaning no money was made. He could have been ticked off and told me it was a waste of time. Instead he consoled me and comforted me in my disappointment. I am a very lucky lady! Thanks honey! I don't know what I would do without you.

Grateful, Day 12

2011-11-12T14:24:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for two cars. We spent the first *almost* five years of our marriage with only one car. When you have little kids at home and no vehicle and your husband works/commutes with long hours.... it's really hard to have one car. I am extremely grateful that we have two cars now and all the freedom that it allows us. I am also extremely grateful that through all the hard times we had that we didn't end up losing a car in the process, God is good to us.

Grateful, Day 11

2011-11-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my oldest daughter, Audrey Anne. She is exactly two months away from being SIX! I can't believe it. She has started Kindergarten and LOVES it. In fact, she was faced with the option of leaving school early yesterday to spend some time with my dad and she just could not skip school. You would have thought I was asking her to self-amputate her arm. She is learning a lot and really fast. It is fun to watch her expand her horizons and bittersweet. I can't believe she was my little tiny baby and now she is off in the world, her own person. Love you big girl!

Grateful, Day 10

2011-11-10T22:00:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for surprises. Most of the time I am not a big fan of the unexpected. However yesterday morning I got a call that my dad was in the area and had two days off. My dad lives in Florida and I don't get to see him a lot. Sometimes his job (commercial truck driver) brings him up this way. We have seen him three times in the last year. Usually it is just for a few hours so it was nice to have almost two full days with him. We didn't really do much but it was nice for the girls to spend a lot of time with him and for Clara to get to know him. She was a little dubious at first but she enjoyed meeting Grandpa Jimmy. Sometimes getting surprised is awesome!

Grandpa Jimmy and Clara chillin' on the couch, getting to know each other :)

Grateful, Day 9

2011-11-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for my baby girl, Clara Jayne. She hits fourteen months today and I can't believe how time is flying. She is learning so much right now. This is one of my favorite ages. She is mimicking everything that she sees and hears. She is starting to talk and is getting quite good at telling us what she wants/needs. She is just so funny some times. I love you little Clara bear! I can't wait to share this Thanksgiving and Christmas season with you!

Grateful, Day 8

2011-11-08T13:51:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for laundry. It is a task that I really truly hate doing. However, as the temperatures start to drop, especially at night, I am reminded that not everyone is as fortunate as we are. And as a look at the mound of clean laundry for my children I am reminded that even through the last couple of rough years my kids still have a lot of clothing. For that, I am truly truly grateful.

Now I'd be even more grateful if it would magically fold itself :)

Grateful, Day 7

2011-11-07T13:06:00.001-08:00

In an effort to truly think about what I am grateful for and not be trite about it, today I am grateful for the YMCA in Silverdale. I completely got out of the habit of going in September and October due to moving (at least I let myself get out of the habit). I missed it and had a great workout today when I went to a Zumba class. While I am grateful for the actual facility mostly I am grateful that we are in a place where we can afford a membership for our family and it isn't a burden. I am grateful for Derek's job and all the hard work that he puts in (and has for the last *almost* six years).

Grateful, Day 6

2011-11-06T15:56:00.000-08:00

Today I am grateful for coupons, deals, sales and clearances... :) I love being able to go out and get what my family needs/wants and not spend a ton of money doing it. With all the financial hardships we've had in the last couple of years I have become pretty decent at finding a good deal and saving money. There is just nothing more satisfying the eating a delicious meal or wearing a nice article of clothing and knowing you got an awesome deal on it. Okay, maybe not "nothing" but it's up there :)

Grateful, Day 5

2011-11-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for coffee... ugh. Clara has NOT been sleeping well lately and I am not sure why. But today I got to sleep in a bit and got breakfast in bed, including a hot steaming cup of coffee with my favorite Peppermint Mocha creamer that you can only get this time of year! I am also thankful to my hubby who brought it all to me :) :) :)

Grateful, Day 4

2011-11-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

Early last spring I was feeling the need for some regularly scheduled girl time and also something that would prompt me to expand my reading horizons. I longed for a book club. I wished someone would invite me to one. Then all of a sudden it dawned on me, I could start one. I honestly didn't think anyone would want to be a part of it. But here we are seven months later with 17 members and a monthly get together that I look forward to immensely. So today I am grateful for my book club! Thanks ladies, you're the best!

Grateful, Day 3

2011-11-03T12:43:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for heat. We have had some chilly nights the last few days and I am extremely grateful that we have heat and I don't have to worry about my children. I know all do not fair as well. In addition, I am grateful for good windows that don't let all my heat out. The last couple of places we've lived have had older windows that just seep in the cold air. It's nice not to have to worry about that here. Thank you Lord!

Grateful, Day 2

2011-11-02T13:10:00.000-07:00

Today I am grateful for a good night's sleep. Clara hasn't been sleeping well due to teething and then a cold. Plus, sometimes I just stay up way later than I should so I don't get enough hours anyway. Last night I got eight UNINTERRUPTED hours of sleep. Been about 3 weeks since I could say that. Woo Hoo!!!

Lame Sauce & Thankfulness

2011-11-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

Since my blog has been ultra lame this year I am going to try and get back into the habit of blogging by posting a daily gratefulness bite for each day of November. My goal is to be more then generic. Yes I am grateful for my husband, kids, cars, house, jobs...etc. But I want to say WHY I am grateful for those things.

I am hoping by the end of the month I will be in the habit of logging in much more frequently and keeping an up-to-date account of what is going on in our crazy lives.

So here is my grateful bite of the day: I am grateful for my husband being willing to spend 30 minutes working the AWFUL knot out of my shoulder that has been causing me such pain today. Thanks so his time I can actually sleep tonight! Thanks hun!

Here is a picture, just for fun:

Halloween 2011

My girls as the three girls from Despicable Me and my husband in The Box of Shame!

Holy Smokes...

2011-09-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

So this year has kind of been a bust as far as blogging. I am really disappointed in myself. Since I don't know if anyone reads this it really isn't that big of a deal but I am bummed. Anyway, I plan to start back up again so if anyone is following... BE PREPARED!! :) We just moved in to a new place and are getting settled so as soon as that happens I will be catching up here. Lots to add including our vacation to Long Beach, WA in August, Audrey's first day of Kindergarten and our littlest little turning the big O-N-E!! :) Stay tuned!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-10T15:42:00.001-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T12:30:00.001-07:00

August and a Challenge!!!!

2011-08-01T08:26:00.000-07:00

As per the usual, I can't believe it is already August! So far it is promising to be a great month. The weather looks beautiful for this week and we have a "free" week with almost nothing scheduled... it's refreshing. Also, there are swim lessons, day camp, school prep and VACATION!

Lastly, there's a challenge. Derek and I are challenging each other to go the entire month of August without drinking ANY soda at all. We also decided to try and eat low low carbohydrate dinners and no carbs after dinner. That part is actually harder for me than the soda part but I think with us doing it together we can make it! There's a reward for each of us if we make it and a consequence if we don't. I will keep you updated and we'll see what happens :) :)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

The Beach

2011-07-25T17:10:00.000-07:00

I have lived in several states in my lifetime (most before the age of 10) and visited many more. In all the places I've lived I have never seen a state with all types of terrain the way Washington does. There is desert and heat on the Eastern half of the state. There are TWO mountain ranges, rain forest and then there is water everywhere!

Fog on the water at Old Man Beach in Suquamish

I didn't realize how much I love the beach and crave the tranquility that encompasses my being when I am there. Even with the kids I feel at peace when I am on the beach. I enjoy sinking into the sand and watching my children entertain themselves for hours with nothing but sand, water, shovels and some buckets.

I enjoy the ever present breeze that is at the beaches in Washington making it never too hot. Enjoying the beach with friends makes it even better. The kids have company and so do I. Although our summer has been less than spectacular weather-wise we have had days where we drop everything and run to the beach to enjoy the sun that we are getting.

While I don't think I will ever leave the beautiful state that I live in, if I do it MUST have water and beaches :)

Strawberry picking...

2011-07-17T15:30:00.000-07:00

A day at the patch in pictures.....

So I failed...

2011-07-14T20:43:00.000-07:00

I started June with the goal to blog at least 15 times for the month... *hangs head in shame*... I only made it nine times. I CANNOT believe how crazy June was and July is becoming. Tomorrow will be the middle of the month already and I have only done one post... *sigh*. I don't know how to keep up.

Anyway...
Fourth of July:
We had a splendid fourth of July weekend...

We spent a day at the beach with the Schneiders and Snedkers.

We spent the rest of the weekend at various bar-b-ques and get-togethers with friends. It was a great time. Capped off with me and my big girls heading to Kingston to watch the fireworks. It was nice and peaceful, just the three of us :)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T22:23:00.001-07:00

I love Washington! (I know it's supposed to be wordless but I couldn't help myself :)).

Wordless Wednesday - Father's Day

2011-06-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

Twinkle toes....

2011-06-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

Is it wrong to live vicariously through your children? Is it silly to strive so hard to have them do the things you wanted to but didn't? I LOVE the ballet. I wanted to be a ballerina so bad I would lay in bed and picture myself in beautiful ballet slippers with whisper pink satin ribbons that wrapped up my ankles and huge starched tutus that bounced as I pranced and twirled across the stage. I wanted to be lithe and graceful and dainty. I never took ballet, in fact, I'm not sure another living being ever knew about my secret desire... alas, it was not meant to be.

Sometimes, as a mother of a girl (well, three to be exact) I feel like I am getting a second chance. Not for me, but to let my daughter(s) do all the things I really wanted to do but didn't get to or didn't even voice, for whatever reason. I am very careful not to force them do to anything that they don't enjoy but I make sure that I offer them a wide variety of options for activities so that they know they can pursue whatever they'd like to. I was so tickled that both Audrey and Brianna wanted to participate in ballet. I researched and called around and found the school of dance that would best fit all of our needs. Audrey has now completed two years of pre-dance and is moving up to Ballet 1 in the fall. Brianna has completed her first year of pre-dance and couldn't have enjoyed it more if she tried :)

This year my "big girls" were in the same ballet class and therefore got to perform together at the end of the year recital.

They were patient as I curled their hair in rag curls the night before and as I spent twenty minutes untying endless knots and spraying their tendrils like they needed to stay in forever!!
The end result was worth it though:

Wonderfully curly-riffic (currently Audrey's favorite thing to add to the end of words -rrific)

Audrey was the epitome of poise and grace. Brianna, well she smiled a lot. :) She did really well for her first time on stage. She was a little star struck by the audience and didn't do quite as well as she was doing in class. However, she had a great smile and she wasn't afraid at all. I was a proud proud mama.

Flowers from mommy and daddy!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

Dumping ground...

2011-06-16T21:01:00.000-07:00

There are many unanswerable questions in life.... Why do good things happen to "bad" people? (you read that right), how many different colors are there? Crayola says 64..... Why can't we all just get along? Why is it that some people prefer blue, while others want shocking pink? Etc.

Life has recently revealed to me a personal unanswerable question....
I have found that no matter where I live or what type of dwelling I live in (apartment, duplex, house) there is always one spot in my house that becomes the dumping ground!! When Derek and I first got married and were both in school full-time and working it was our dining room table because we were rarely sitting at it anyway. Our mail, bags, coats, etc... they were always landing on our dining room table. Then we graduated college and moved out of our tiny 650 square foot apartment into our first two bedroom apartment. There the dumping ground was a section of counter right inside the front door..... and it goes on. Currently is is my desk. While I have been great lately about keeping things picked up and put where they belong my desk can go from orderly and spacious to crowded and messy in one afternoon. Why, oh why, does everything get dumped on the desk? What is it about the desk that beckons to all the things that need to be put away and yet aren't? Is it really that much easier to walk over and set things on the desk then it is to just put them where they actually go? I wonder if there is an answer to this question.... hmmmm... maybe I will have to ponder this some more.....
Do you have a dumping ground in your home? Or is this just something that plagues my particular section of the universe? Anyone found an antidote to the dumping ground syndrome... well, you know, other than standing at the desk and snapping at anyone who dares to set anything down ON the desk. :) That would go over real well at my house :) Maybe one day I'll figure out a solution.... when I do, I'll let you know ;)

Wordless Wednesday - last day

2011-06-15T10:38:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday - rag curls

2011-06-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

I've lost it....

2011-06-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

The dictionary describes motivation as the process that arouses, sustains and regulates human behavior. It's the thing that makes us work hard at something even though we may not want to. Like, cleaning house, working out, eating right, paying bills, etc. I look at it is the driving factor in doing something I don't particularly like because I do like the outcome.

Well, I've lost my motivation for eating below my calorie goal....

In January Derek and I decided that we wanted to lose weight and that we were going to do it together. We did fabulous. He lost 22 pounds and I lost 18. Then he went back to work the beginning of April and I've lost all motivation. I keep going up and down the same four pounds and it's IRRITATING! It seems like just as I am on a good roll again something comes up, like Memorial day weekend and all the BBQ's and food that went along with that. SO frustrating. I don't know how to recapture the self-control that I had. Any suggestions? What do you do when you need extra motivation for something? Hmmmm.....

Oy vey ... and a CHALLENGE!

2011-06-04T22:41:00.000-07:00

So it's June! I have been seriously remiss in keeping up on my blog. Normally I would do my darnedest to go back and catch up on everything that has happened since I last blogged in an effort to make it look like I haven't gone as long as I have between postings. But I don't have the energy or the time. Every time I sit down to do it I am so overwhelmed by all that would have to be done that I just don't do it and as a result it has been over two and a half months since I last posted. All I have to say is UNACCEPTABLE! I have NO idea if anyone reads this anyway (a comment to let me know if you do would be great motivation to post more regularly). However, I don't do this for others only... it's mainly for me. So instead of trying to catch up on everything that's happened since the end of March, I am just going to pick up here and resolve to do a lot better. My challenge to myself this month is to blog at least 15 times...we'll see how I do!! :)

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-01T10:35:00.000-07:00

Spring is here...

2011-03-26T22:58:00.000-07:00

...And we're off to the parks!

Now if Derek could just get some work! :)

Stop and smell the ... nail polish?

2011-03-20T22:47:00.000-07:00

I have noticed a trend in my posts in the last few months... tearful. :) I am awfully sentimental lately, especially when it comes to my kiddos. Being that I am well aware of Clara being my final baby I think it is just really hitting me hard how fast they are growing up. Anyway, while I wax eloquent over the loss of baby-ness and tiny beings, life goes on. I recently had a chance to spend the day with just the girls. Derek was working at the church and it was just us. Instead of working on the L.O.N.G. list of things I had to do, I had a spa day with my girls. There were bubble baths with PLENTY of bubbles. Blow-drys, manicures, and pedicures and all of it topped of with a fresh coat of nail polish. Even though I could see the mess around me and I could practically hear the laundry yelling at me I sat and debated with my two year old over the virtues of Midtown Pink or Dangerously Red Red... by the way, she went with the pink. :) It was splendid. And while I wasn't able to cross much off of my list, I invested in my life in a different way... a much more important one. I reveled in my children for a couple of hours and guess what? My laundry was STILL there when I was done... imagine that.... darn!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

2011-03-17T22:57:00.000-07:00

Girls, girls, girls.....

2011-03-16T22:39:00.000-07:00

I have three girls! No surprise there. Even if that amount of girls in ONE family seems like a lot it does seem to be a trend in my circle of friends to have two or more girls. I have few exceptions to that rule. Most of us have NO boys at all... it's really kinda freaky. While we all may mourn the fact that we have no sons a little, there are lots of fun things about having all girls. One of those things? PRINCESS PARTIES! We have thrown and been to many a princess party in the short five(ish) years that we've had children. It is so much fun to dress them up and put on costume jewelry. It's fun to eat bright colored cupcakes and brandish wands and tiaras. Recently we had that opportunity again as our friend, Cecily, turned 4 and had a princess Belle party. Clara even got in on the princess vibe and we had a grand time spending the evening celebrating with friends.

All the princes and princesses

Halfway

2011-03-10T20:45:00.000-08:00

It's happened... Clara is six months old. She is halfway to a year old... the time where she is no longer considered a baby but is ushered into the world of toddler-hood. What is there to say.. it is happening too fast? Of course it is, it always does. But this time is different. This time is my LAST time. My last time to say, "She's six months old". My last time to have a baby in the family. This time it really is too fast... because it's my last time. While I am busying getting overwhelmed with laundry and keeping up with the house... while I am rushing from one place to the next, striving always to be on time with three little ones... while I am fretting about bills and when Derek will get work again... It's my last time and it is screaming by at the speed of light. My sweet angel is growing SO quickly. And while it is so much fun to see her personality emerge and to see her learn so many new things so quickly, it is so so so bittersweet. I want to record it all. I want to brand it in my brain as much as possible because I feel like I won't be able to remember what it was like to have these littles when they were SO little. And she is getting big... she is a healthy 15 pounds 6 ounces. She is 26.5 inches long. She is perfectly hitting all milestones... like sitting. She is still just doing the tripod sit but she is getting stronger by the day. One thing that hasn't changed a lick is just how stinking cute she is. I love you, Clara Bear... slow down for mommy, ok?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-03-09T22:24:00.000-08:00

March came in like a lion ....

2011-03-05T19:27:00.000-08:00

Well March is here and has definitely come in like a lion. Rain and wind have abounded this week has we head towards Derek's thirtieth birthday. We were blessed, briefly, for Derek to get a short call for about 12 days that really helped. He's really not moving on the list. It's frustrating but we're trying to be patient. But enough about that... Derek is 30!!!!!!!!!! :) Yesterday Derek turned thirty. We're really adults now. It feels so weird to have all of us headed into our thirties. I know that I am 28, married for almost eight years, with three kids but sometimes I still don't feel like an adult. But I guess we are :)
Derek had a good birthday, at least I hope so. The girls bought him gifts (Reese's peanut butter cups from Clara, a Nerf gun from Audrey and a new football from Brianna) and I splurged with our tax return and got him a Blu-ray player that I got a really good deal on. I made Mt. Dew cupcakes and we had all sorts of horrible-for-you-food. :) Lots of friends came to our (no kids) party and we stayed up way too late. Happy Birthday, Derek. I hope that this next year is your best yet!
Mt. Dew Cupcakes!

Weight loss success

2011-03-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

Derek and I have been working on losing weight, being more fit and eating healthier. We never really were bad eaters we just had some bad habits; like snacking late at night and eating larger portions than we should have. We have been working on doing P90X and are working out 5-6 days a week. I am really proud of our progress. Derek has lost over 16 pounds and I am down a little over 11. We'll see what the next month brings. :)

February

2011-02-28T19:14:00.000-08:00

Not much came out of February... I feel like it was a dark month. Almost like it didn't really happen. I was sick 95% of the time as were at least one of the children (usually more). Clara turned 5 months old and Derek is STILL out of work. Oh well, here's hoping I can be a better blogger in March :)

Clara started taking baths in the big tub... needless to say, she LOVES it.

She splashes SO much I usually need to towel off at the end too :)

Rock on, Diva-girl, rock on :)

Valentine's day brought Audrey's first round of addressing cards to everyone in her class. It was a meticulous process of picking out one for each classmate and then writing their names and her name. It was so fun doing that with her this year and brought me a glimpse of what life will be like in the fall when I am officially the mom of a school-aged girl :)

Sigh

2011-01-28T18:49:00.000-08:00

As January comes to a close I am feeling ... despondent. Not much is going on. Life is moving along and we're STILL waiting for Derek to go back to work and the numbers on the list just aren't moving much. It's discouraging as the bills pile up and the phone calls keep coming.... sigh. I feel like a sigh. I was really sure he'd be back to work by now; or at least *this close*. Sigh. Well at least taxes will be done soon and we will hopefully have some money coming back to us to help us out during this time, sigh. Money that there are 1,000,000 other things we'd rather do with it than pay bills. *Sigh* Oh well, God is providing and I am doing everything I can to be positive.

On the upside Derek and I have started working out and watching what we eat. We've already lost a couple of pounds each and I am hoping this leads to a healthier life and more fit us. :) We'll see! We took "before" pictures but we are not going to show those until we're at our "after". Wish us luck!

Not much else going on except that we went to the zoo today with my sister-in-law. It was dead and we had a great time. Here's a few choice pics :)

We found out that it is Walrus mating season. ET was very friendly with us :)

Audrey, Doc and Brianna walking along at the zoo

Red Wolf exhibit

Dwarf seahorses, only 1/4 of an inch long

One of the "baby" tigers

Five years

2011-01-16T18:26:00.000-08:00

I am feeling nostalgic as my little girl (who's getting to be not so little) turned five on January 11th. I remember being pregnant with her and going to find out what we were having. I so badly wanted a little girl. I prayed that God would give me just one little girl and that if this baby wasn't going to be my girl to help me not to be disappointed. I remember being SO excited when they said, "It's a girl!" Visions of pink, ruffles, lace and tutus danced before my eyes.

A little girl with brown hair and blue eyes leaped into my daydreams.

That pregnancy couldn't end fast enough from that point on. I could NOT wait to meet my little girl. The little being that changed me from just a woman to a mom.
And then I blinked...
She turned One...

...then two...

...then three...

...then four....

And now half a decade has gone by!
Audrey is getting so big. She has blossomed into this big girl who has such a big personality. She's a girly girl and at the same time loves sports and isn't a diva (unlike her sister, Brianna). She loves her friends and makes new ones all the time. She is left-handed and loves that she is unique in that way. She loves splashing in puddles and getting her hair blow-dried. She sings ALL the time making up her own soundtrack to her life. She does ballet

and wants to play softball like daddy. She is a well-rounded little girl.

She has been joined by first one sister....

Then another...

All the while growing in her ability to love others and learning how to share her life with her sisters! :)

As kindergarten approaches and I am about to become a mom of a school-aged child I am excited and scared at the same time. I know she will do well because she LOVES to learn and is usually easily liked. I know all the hard times that come with going to school though and I fervently pray that she won't be teased, bullied, picked on. That she will be confident in the beautiful wonderful person that she is on the inside. We're entering a scary new phase of life, her and I, but I know that we will do okay.

Happy 5th Birthday, Audrey. I love you more than you could ever know and that will never change!

Hair polish?

2011-01-08T23:22:00.000-08:00

Today we went grocery shopping as a family (you know you wish you were me). It's so hard with Derek out of work and it being winter to get the kids out of the house on days we don't have something planned. However today we thought we might go crazy if we didn't get out for a while. So grocery shopping it was. We only needed a few things but it was something to do.

While at Wal-mart I remembered that we needed more body wash for the girls. So we headed over to the aisles with all the soaps and hair products. While we were walking through the aisles Brianna looks at me and says, "Mommy, do you need more hair polish?" ....................... ?
I told her that, No, I did not need more hair polish, and she was good to go. I have NO idea what she was talking about but it sure was funny.

Sometimes I get so frustrated with them and feel so inadequate to mother these little girls that have been entrusted to my care. I know I get impatient with their shenanigans and, more often that I would like, snap at them too quickly. I feel like there is so much to do and not enough time to do it in. I want to sit and play with them, I want to teach them how to be responsible, I want to teach them manners and kindness and morals. I want them to have a happy childhood and to look back at their early years with smiles and remember how much fun mom was even while being firm and teaching them lots of different things. Yet most days I find myself frustrated with them for taking two hours to clean their room and STILL not finishing. I find myself snapping when Brianna knocks over her sippy cup at the table for the 15th time. I find myself feeling relieved and yet guilty when they are finally in bed for the night because that day just didn't go how I would have liked.
If they would just listen better...
If they would just obey better in public....
If they would just be a little bit quicker, quieter, friendlier, nicer, etc. etc. etc.....

And then I find myself embarking upon a week where Audrey turns five years old and my little baby Clara hits four months and I realize it is all slipping through my fingers. Soon they aren't going to want to play with me in their hippo tent. Soon they aren't going to want to go with me to the grocery store. I know that I am no where near them being grown up and I still have many many years but it is just so shocking to me how quickly time passes. While I have a lot of legitimate stresses in my life right now (thank you unemployment), there are a lot of things I could let go. And the girls are not going to be on pause while I stress about other things.

If I can remember that they will only be little for so little it makes me a little more patient. If I can focus on the way Clara smiles when I make silly faces, or the way Brianna shakes her booty to music, or the way Audrey tries so hard to help everyone I'll be just *that* much less likely to snap at them. I'll be *that* much more willing to let the laundry sit while I play Princesses or color pictures. Someday, quite a few years in the future, I am going to have plenty of time to do laundry, clean, wash dishes, cook, scrapbook, blog, etc.... but for now I have three little girls to play dress up with, to braid hair with, to paint toenails with, to color, laugh, giggle, hug, kiss, be with. I am going to try really hard in this new year to remember that each day is something that I can't get back and I am just going to BE.

Well this post got a lot more sentimental then I meant it to so I will sign off with a few recent pictures of my littles :)

Audrey decorating Christmas cookies

Brianna (diva) coloring in fairy wings, because what isn't made better by wearing fairy wings?

Clara talking to the most adorable baby in the mirror, seriously, who is she? :)

All three of my girls in the Christmas PJ's from Grandma Lynnette.... *sigh*
Does it get any better?

2011

2011-01-02T17:25:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know I said no resolutions required for 2011 but I actually do have a few.

1. Keep up with my blog better, it's such a great release and I didn't do so well in 2010, even if no one actually reads it. :)

2. Exercise more... mainly so that I have more energy.

3. Have more patience with my children, especially when I am stressed out.

I think that's plenty, although secretly I am resolution-ing (like that word invention?) to keep up better with my laundry. :)

Hope for 2011

2010-12-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

On my desk, where I sit and type this, there is a calendar that sits under my keyboard. It is where I keep track of my life and all that my family does. Every month, as the days tick by, the corners of that month start to curl up. I can tell it is getting close to the end of the month when I am constantly feeling the edges of the calendar brush against my wrists as I type. This year it feels like those curled edges have meant more. Throughout 2010 we were counting the days. Counting down until we added our newest member to our family, counting until Derek goes back to work, counting the days since Clara was born, counting the days since Derek was laid off (again). These months have flown by and meant so much. I have endured stress to a capacity that I never have before but I have also known great joy. Now as I sit here, on the precipice of a new year, I feel as though the pages flew off of the calendar way too fast this year. Yet, I am sure that everyone (me) says that every year.

Hope, it's my word of the year for 2011. I look at 2011 hoping for quite a bit. I hope for better job stability for Derek. I hope to be a better mother to my THREE girls. I hope to be a better wife and friend. I hope for more confidence, more motivation, more time management... or just more time in general, more patience and more trust. I hope that I can be a better follower of Christ, depend more on Him as he has continued to provide for us even in our darkest hours this year. I hope for big things like no more financial stress and I hope for small things, like keeping up with my laundry all year. As I tear off the page of 2010 tonight I hope that next year as I tear off 2011 I can say that it was a better year. That I was a better person. No resolutions required :) Happy New Year to you all! See you next year!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-26T16:59:00.000-08:00

We had a great Christmas 2010. Lots of time with family and friends. We attended our church's Christmas Eve service this year for the first time in 5 years and it was so nice to be calm and still and focus on the "reason for the season". I hope you all had a great Christmas too.

Bootcamp Diva Conclusion

2010-12-23T10:19:00.000-08:00

So my month of Boot-camp Diva is over. I was really not that thrilled with the idea when my sister-in-law first told me. However I was determined to do it, mostly because someone else had paid for me to do it and because my sister-in-law was going too so I had someone to do it with. I was really anxious because I thought I would be huffing and puffing while everyone else was doing all the exercises with no effort. I was wrong. It was really hard but really good. Everyone is doing their own thing so no one is watching you (except the trainer to make sure you aren't going to hurt yourself doing something wrong). It was a great overall experience and I lost 8 inches over my body. I wish I could continue to do it but unfortunately it's not in the cards with Derek out of work right now. However, it has shown me that I can do stuff at home that will help me to get in better shape in a very short amount of time each week. So as I approach a new year and things are going to be getting back to normal in about a week and a half... there is one resolution, as cliche as it is, that is going to be on my list... get in shape.

Cookies !!!

2010-12-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

There is nothing better to do in December than to make (eat) cookies and decorate (eat) cookies and share (eat) cookies. So that's what we did this December.
We decorated cookies at Audrey's preschool party.

We decorated cookies with friends.

We had Aunties come over and we made Russian tea cakes, chocolate crinkles, ginger cookies, oatmeal raisin cookies, oatmeal bars.... I think that was it. We were covered in flour, sugar, you name it. It was a great time. The kids (mine and their cousins) loved playing together while we baked and we involved them when we could.

When decorating time comes well, that's always the best. How do they decide what is going to go on their cookie masterpieces? They don't, they put everything on. Watching more go in their mouths than actually gets on the cookie... which is quite a feat because there is A LOT on the cookie. It's is just a holiday moment that you cannot miss.

We decorated with friends and family this year and consumed way too much sugar... but that's what the holidays are for, right? Just agree, it makes me feel better :)

Bazaar

2010-12-12T17:41:00.000-08:00

So as I mentioned a couple of months ago, I am going pro with my hooking :) a.k.a. crocheting. IN a feeble attempt to bring in a few extra dollars and not have my girls each end up with 25 hats a piece. So, I decided to do the Suquamish Elementary School Bazaar. I love bazaars. Looking at all the homemade crafts. Admiring the work others do and supporting local artists. It's all great and there was such a fabulous variety at this bazaar.

I shared a booth with a friend of mine who makes gorgeous bows for little girls. It was nice to have someone to sit with for 6 hours. I was very nervous going into it and had a little over 40 hats done. I tried to stick to just a few styles and did mostly baby/toddler hats. It went.......... okay. I sold seven hats but most of them were to people I knew but I really appreciated the support. I am glad it is over though. I really enjoy making custom orders better because then I have specific instructions on what to make and what size. I am still struggling with lack of confidence in my work as most of the customers I have/had so far are people I know... I some times wonder if they are buying them just to be nice. Hopefully not. We'll see.

I have had two stores express interest in selling my hats and plan to look into that in the new year. I also have a Facebook Fanpage that I am hoping to get some orders off of. We'll see. I'd rather not do Etsy mostly because I don't wanna deal with shipping things frequently but if things don't take off in any other way I am going that route. Stay tuned and feel free to check out my fanpage to see photos of all my work.

Three months...

2010-12-10T16:20:00.000-08:00

It doesn't sound like a long period of time but it isn't a super short period of time either. And yet that is the amount of time our Clara bear has been in our lives. I remember how long those first few months felt when I had Audrey and yet I think all I had to do this time was blink and she's three months old (and yes, I realize how cliche that sounds).

Clara is growing like a weed. She's approx. 13.5 pounds and about 25 inches long. I can't believe how big she is getting. She is just about ready to move up to 3-6 month clothes (earlier than both of her sisters) and it is very bittersweet for me. I am in no way vacillating on wanting more children but I just wish this time would slow down, just a little.

She is a great baby. She smiles easily and still loves her sisters. She holds her head up well now and is discovering her hands. I can't wait to see what this next month brings, including her first Christmas.

Happy three months, my bear. I have truly enjoyed the addition of you to our family. I can't wait to see what the next few months bring.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-12-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

Year end resolutions??

2010-12-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

Who says you need a new year to make a resolution? Not I! For my birthday my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law went in together and bought me a month's worth of Boot-camp Diva classes. I am nervous about how this is going to go. I am really not in shape and don't want to make a fool of myself. But Nicole will be there with me so at least I will know someone. And it's only a month... we'll see what kind of results I can get out of it in a month. :) Can't wait to report back! First class is tonight, wish me luck :)

Christmas time is HERE!

2010-11-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

Although I am not feeling in the Christmas mood the way I usually am this time of year I am trying. I want to feel the usual overwhelming cheer that sometimes makes me tear up (cheesy, I know) but it's true. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this time of year. I want it to last twice as long as it does and am always let down the day after Christmas and especially after New Year's when all the holidays are done for another year and it's back to business as usual. I am missing it this year... I am not entirely sure why. Derek was laid off this time last year and it didn't matter then... *sigh* who knows. Anyway, I stuck with tradition and put up the tree the night after Thanksgiving. The stockings went up... minus Clara's that we still have to get. The wreath is on the front door and we even added a snowman garland this year! (gotta love a $1.50 craft from JoAnn's :))

It's all here... I'm just not. But my kids will never know because we are still drinking hot cocoa, dancing to Christmas songs, planning on our annual cookie decorating and making Christmas crafts. Where are you Christmas cheer... please come and visit me... soon!

So here is what Christmas at our house looks like:

28 on the 28th

2010-11-29T19:48:00.000-08:00

That's right ladies and gentleman... I am officially 28! I honestly don't know how I feel about it. On one hand it is just a number, but on the other that number is getting bigger and bigger. :) I just feel like my twenties are flying by. I know that is in big part due to having little kids... time flies and crawls simultaneously. I feel like I just turned 20 though.... weird. Well it was pretty low-key this year due to all that's going on. But friends of ours took us out to lunch and I got a few small presents. Derek and the girls got me the new Colbie Calliat CD and I love it. I got a great cold cup from Starbucks from a friend and a Women of Faith book from my mom. Derek cooked me dinner and we even had cheesecake!!!

It was the no-bake kind (a.k.a. the kind we can afford) but it was delicious!!!! We even put candles on it and the girls and Derek sang me Happy Birthday. It was a good day.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-27T14:12:00.000-08:00

Well it's here again. A time to be thankful... While I have been trying all month to focus on this holiday, which is my absolute favorite, and be thankful for what we do have I am noticing that I am not in my normal holiday cheer this year. Facing a second holiday season with Derek not working, well, it blows... big time. I am very thankful for my husband who works hard (when there is work) and for my three beautiful, healthy girls. I am thankful that I am healthy. I am thankful that (with the exception of needing tires on the Kia) we have two cars in good working condition. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.....

I am just not feeling it this year. God is providing for us and I am constantly amazed at that miracle but I am still bummed. I hate that we have to go through this a second year in a row. I hate that we have to watch every tiny penny so much more than we've ever had to. I hate the panic I feel every time we buy anything because there is so little money to go around right now. *sigh*

And, I hate that I feel like I shouldn't be feeling any of this because if I trusted God enough there would be no stress/worry/panic about this. Well there is. I know that this time of year isn't just about giving but I like giving. I want to give... and I can't... again...

This too shall pass....

So for Thanksgiving, that is what this post was supposed to be about :), we went to my mom and step-dad's house. We did it on Friday thanks to the snowstorm that made the roads a little dangerous for a few days. We had a delicious dinner (the girls "helped" Papa)

and had a good time just being together. The guys watched football, Audrey and Brianna colored placemats for the table,

and I crocheted (only two weeks until the bazaar). I made the pies and they turned out quite well :)

Lemon Meringue Pie

My first homemade pumpkin pie

I am thankful... I am thankful... I am thankful

Snow storm - November 2010

2010-11-26T08:32:00.000-08:00

I am NOT a big fan of snow but don't usually mind it too much if we are all safe and warm and together when it happens. And with Derek not working we don't have to worry about him missing work. So when snow was threatening our area I figured we would just hunker down and "weather the storm" (pun intended). Well on Sunday evening, it started to snow. By Monday it was REALLY snowing and a storm was rolling in. The girls were excited for the first snow of the season and were anxious to go for a "snow walk" with Daddy.

I started to get worried only because our area is prone to power outages anyway and I knew that if we lost power it was going to get cold... quick. In times B.C. (before children) I would have thought that a major inconvenience. But now, A.C., it is just dangerous. It's not like I can keep my two year old and my four year old in their beds all day to keep warm.

So finally Monday night at about 6:15, the power finally went out for good. We dealt with it and went to bed praying that we would have power by morning. Around 3:30 am we got power back for about 2 minutes... just enough to tease. By morning our house was quite frigid. Thankfully our neighbors are friends and had a generator that they were able to use to have a space heater in their house. It wasn't tropical but it was a lot warmer than our house. They have three kids (2 of them girls) and so our girls had plenty to do. When it became apparent that the power wasn't going to come back on before dark, at 4:30 p.m., we decided to head to our church to spend the night. They almost always have power because they are on the same power grid as the local urgent care center. We packed up our car and headed that way. After a scary (at least for me) drive the seven miles to church we were there, safe and warm (YAY). Of course the kids thought it was a big adventure. They had friends, they had toys and LOTS of room to run around. Plus they got to sleep in sleeping bags.... does it get any better? After a nice hot dinner we all watched Toy Story 3.

Watching Toy Story 3

Then off to bed. Praying, once again, that our power would be back on in the morning because it was going to definitely be time to shower by then. :)

Wednesday morning came and we discovered that our power came back on around 8:00 am. We headed home. The drive was a little better but still a little slippery in places. We got home safe and sound and it took the entire rest of the day for the house to warm back up. But I don't think I ever appreciated a hot shower as much as I did that day. Thanksgiving morning we woke up to a white winter land still and the kids went out and played for a while but by late afternoon it was all gone (YAY YAY YAY!) ... so that means we are off to my mom and kenny's today for a delayed Thanksgiving.

Sanctuary

2010-11-18T12:48:00.000-08:00

Stress is in abundance at our house... Derek is unemployed, again.... the holidays are here and Derek is unemployed, again... my birthday is in less than two weeks and Derek is unemployed, again... this time is worse though because we are getting a lot less unemployment than last time and we are waiting... waiting on God... waiting on a miracle ... waiting...

My life feels like those three dots ... ... ... an ellipsis... waiting.

While we wait I try and find sanctuary. I read the Bible and am comforted by it's words. Then the phone rings and it's someone who wants money and my sense of peace is gone and my ellipsis is back ... ... ... ...

So I seek more sanctuary. Having a clean and organized house makes me feel calm and accomplished... so I clean. I make a list and enthusiastically cross off each item that I complete. Then we need something and I have to look at our bank account to see if we can afford to go buy more batteries for the baby's swing.

Sanctuary gone...

ellipsis back...

waiting...

I remember that we are in a time of Thanksgiving and decide to count all the things we are thankful for: house (hoping inside we don't lose it), cars that are in good running order at the moment (even though the Kia needs tires we can't afford and we could potentially lose those too), church family (who I feel guilty for all the help we have received from them in the last year) and my ellipsis is back...
...
...
...

then I think of my children. I think of how frustrated I can get with them when they do NOT stop fighting. I think of how irritated I get when I hear nothing but whining and demands. I think of how short my patience seems lately and I feel guilty. These three children are treasures and I am more grateful for them than I let them know. I think of all the regrets I have about the times I have lost it with them and said things I didn't mean or yelled when I shouldn't have. Then I feel like a failure and all sense of sanctuary is gone...
...
...

Then one of them smiles at me

or says, "I love you, mommy" or is kind to another one without being asked...

or accomplishes something they didn't think they could do and you see the look of triumph on their faces...

That's when it doesn't matter anymore. That's when I can look at Derek and smile and genuinely mean it. That's when we can forget, even if only for a moment, about all that is going on in our lives that isn't easy.

Sanctuary

Two months

2010-11-11T13:44:00.000-08:00

Clara is already two months old. I cannot believe it. I feel like time is slipping so fast and yet so slow all at the same time. With her being my baby, I don't want it to go so fast but yet, time speeds up. Why is it that times flies when something you don't want to happen is coming and yet can go SO slow when you are waiting for something you want to happen. And the kicker is that it can be both fast and slow simultaneously... sigh. Well, Clara is a healthy and happy two month old. She is 12 pounds (93%) and 23.5" long (96%). She is hitting all her developmental milestones perfectly. She is a sweet baby. She loves to smile at her sisters and most others as well. She sleeps like an angel at night and most of the time during the day. I cannot complain about hardly anything where she is concerned. I am very blessed to have an awesome baby :)

Halloween 2010

2010-10-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

Halloween is a magical time. It's a time where you can dress up and be whatever you want to be. It is a time to be silly and fun and fantastical. Kids of all shapes and sizes (and ages) can gallivant around in dresses, shiny shoes, tiaras,

carry swords, wear eye patches, dress up your dog as a bunny or a bumble bee,

wear massive amounts of make-up and false eyelashes that are so ridiculous that you can hardly see out of them and everyone smiles at you. Everyone joins in and thinks it is a grand thing. No one points and laughs, no one thinks you are out of your gourd and why? Because it's Halloween. We get to be silly AND get free candy, really for no particular reason.

But it's one of my favorite days of the year, especially since I had children. This year I had the particular joy of having my dad visit on Halloween.

Dad pushing Clara down Front Street while the big girls trick-or-treated

He lives over 3,000 miles away in Florida and we don't see him a lot. However, he has starting truck driving again and occasionally gets loads up this way. He had that chance this weekend and was able to see our newest addition and get to go trick-or-treating with us. It was awesome and over all too quickly of course. But for me Halloween was extra special with him here. And it kicks off the holiday season... don't blink because before you know it, it'll be Audrey's FIFTH birthday in January... that's how the year always ends up for me.
Happy Halloween!!!

Brianna in a Bounce House

Psych...

2010-10-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Remember in the nineties when someone would tell you something and then say "Pysch!!" ? Like, "I have $100 for you.... PSYCH!!", "You have a booger on your face.... PSYCH!!!", "Your underwear is showing... PSYCH!!!" So you get the idea. (I was in Jr. High in the early/mid-nineties) Right now though I am NOT in Jr. High but I feel like life is psyching me out... constantly. Derek found out that Friday is his last day (again) and he will be out of work (again) and the holiday season is upon us (again). I feel like in the last 16 months we are getting "psyched" at every turn with Derek's job. He gets work and then gets laid off. His bosses all love him but there just isn't enough work. It's like, "here, have a job. Catch up on your bills and finally relax... PSYCH!!! NO MORE JOB FOR YOU!!!" AAAHHHHHH!!!! I know there is a reason for everything that happens. I know that God has everything in His control and His timing. I know I don't deserve a job any more than any one else out there but GEEEEZZZZZE! I just have one word.......... why?

Pumpkins!

2010-10-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

I love going to the pumpkin patch each year and this year was no exception. We went to a new pumpkin patch this year, Sunrise Hills Farm, in Kingston due to it being a field trip for Audrey's preschool. Although it was cold and foggy it was still a good time. Auntie Bekah came with us and the girls got cute little pumpkins that we ended up decorating with Mr. Potato Head pieces because mama didn't want to deal with carving this year.

They got to jump in hay,

go through a hay maze & a corn maze,

climb a hay bale mountain, walk through the flower fields and pick out their own pumpkins.

Not too shabby. Can't wait till next year when all three of them can be traipsing through the pumpkin patch.

Hi, my name is Melissa and I'm a hooker :)

2010-10-20T16:28:00.000-07:00

Hee hee. I am going "pro" with my crocheting. I am making lots and lots of hats because I am going to have my own booth at a local elementary school's holiday bazaar in December. I am nervous that no one is going to like them. I am also nervous that I am not going to get enough made in time. Prayers, again, would be greatly appreciated. Here is a sampling of what I am going to be selling:

After the bazaar is over I am going to open a shop on Etsy.com. I already have the shop but I am not going to start selling until after I have all the hats I need for the bazaar made. So after December 11th, check me out on www.etsy.com at ABC Creations.

And we're back!

2010-10-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

Derek is going back to work on Monday... woo hoo! Unfortunately we will have some catch-up to do financially because we had to do a waiting week again for unemployment and therefore will only get about a quarter of the money we would have gotten in a two week period if he had been working... ugh! Oh well, he is back to work for now. It is swing shift (stinky) and might only be for a little while (stinky squared) but I am going to live in the present so I don't lose my mind :D Prayers would be greatly appreciated that his company can get all the contracts finalized that they need to before this current project is complete so that they can keep him on a more long-term basis.
Thanks!

One month old...

2010-10-09T16:17:00.000-07:00

ALREADY! Clara Jayne is one month old. I can't believe it. At two weeks she was 9 pounds, 6 ounces and already 21 inches long. She is growing like a weed. I am not exactly sure what she is but she is about 10 pounds now (according to our home scale) and I have no idea how long she is. She is starting to smile socially occasionally and it is fantastic. She sleeps really well, usually only waking once a night. And is overall a very content baby. She is loved by many and kissed constantly... which I am sure is why she is coming down with a cold. Here is our littlest one at one month old:
She couldn't figure out why I was "torturing" her by taking her picture so many times...

But this is why. Gotta love that smile :)

Strike three....

2010-10-02T16:00:00.000-07:00

In sports there are set rules. They almost never change. They are something constant that you can count on. Now I am not a big sports fan but I know that if the rules changed all the time I wouldn't NEVER watch/participate in sports because it would be too hard. Well, life is not a game. There are not a lot of hard and fast rules. There are not a lot of things that you can count on to be constant. Unfortunately for us Derek's job seems to be one of those things that we cannot count on right now. He was laid off, again, today and I am devastated. It just doesn't seem fair. He is a hard worker. His journeyman loves him and is almost as disappointed to lose him and he is to go. There were no strikes, why him? There is no reason other than there is just not enough work right now. They are waiting on contracts to come through but can't work until they do.

This comes on about an hour after I found that all my fall decorations were ruined by mold in our shed... not a big deal to some but I was pretty disappointed. So overall, today really stunk! I feel like screaming. I feel like crying. I feel like throwing something. I feel like eating A LOT of ice cream. UGH! And to top it all off today is my grandmother's last day of her visit and we are going out to dinner and I have to try and be happy and pretend this isn't happening so that I don't ruin her last night.... yeah right! I know God is in control but I really don't understand this happening...again! If I figure out what it is God is trying to teach me through all of this, I will definitely let you all know :)

First Bath

2010-09-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of firsts in life and we very rarely remember most of them. I have documented all three of my girls' first baths and here is Clara's:

She was NOT a big fan at first... only one of my girls who cried

It got better...

Then we had to get out and it was cold... not a fan again :)

Life goes on....

2010-09-14T15:41:00.000-07:00

Having a baby is such a life-changing thing and it feels like your world stops for a little bit. But it doesn't really, especially not when you have two other children at home. Derek headed back to work yesterday and my mom has been hanging out with us yesterday and today. But today is a momentous occasion because today is Audrey's first day of preschool. With all the newness going on in our family I wasn't sure how she was going to do. Plus, I have never left her anywhere before. At church we are always in the building and during ballet lessons I am in the waiting room. I wasn't sure how she would feel about being left. I knew she would be fine eventually but surely not at first, right? WRONG! I took her to school and walked her in... she couldn't get rid of me fast enough. I waited for a phone call the whole time she was there... nothing. I expected the teacher to tell me she cried at some point during the 2.5 hours she was there... nope. She was fine. She loved it. She didn't want to leave and cannot wait to go back on Thursday. I am relieved... and a little sad. I love that she's independent (always has been) but I think part of me wanted her to need me a little. I got over it and am happy that she is so able to do something on her own and love it.

Clara Jayne

2010-09-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Birth is such an amazing thing that happens every day in millions of places around the world. It's crazy to think that while I am doing mundane things (i.e. laundry, wiping down counters, coloring with my children) someone, some where, is bringing a new life into the world. Well two days ago, that was me. After my doctor's appointment I came home and spent my last hours pregnant and with only two little girls on the outside. We cleaned up and organized and waited for Daddy to get home. Auntie Bekah came over to watch the "big girls" while we waited for Grandma Lynnette to be available a little later in the day. We got to the hospital around 4:45 and at about 6:30 (yes, that much later) the pitocin got started.

With this being baby number three everyone anticipated this going quickly. Well, Miss Clara decided she wasn't going to do what is expected. Because she wasn't engaged (her head wasn't as far down as needed) I was dilating slowly. Boooo! At about 3:00 am I was exhausted and decided to get my epidural so I could rest. HA HA HA!! I was about 5 cm dilated. After I got the epidural in place I tried to rest but every time I fell asleep Clara's heartbeat would drop and the nurses would come and wake me up so that we could change positions and hopefully bring it back up. This resulted in my sleeping sitting up most of the night... so not really sleeping at all. At about 4:00 am my water broke and I didn't even notice it until the nurse checked me... which was a little bizarre. After some more waiting and adjusting and waiting at about 9:00 am I was ready to push.

We waited about 20 minutes for Dr. Q to get there from her office. I was getting nervous at this point because I was exhausted and STARVING! I felt really weak and drained. I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to push her out. I didn't feel like I had the strength. Plus, I was nervous about what damage might occur to my body with a big baby coming out. However, my doctor is FANTASTIC and guided me through my pushing and after about 10 minutes, and four big contractions, Clara was out and with the same amount of damage as the other girls thanks to my doctor's excellent coaching. Clara Jayne was born at 9:35 a.m. on 9/9/10 weighing in at 9 pounds even and 19.75 inches long. A 15 hour induced labor...ugh!

Our hospital stay was great. Clara took to breastfeeding really well (when we could get her to wake up) and slept like a champ while we were there. We had lots of visitors and the girls came a few times to visit their baby sister. We came home yesterday afternoon and are acclimating to our family of five :)

So some times when I am doing something particularly boring I stop and think that someone, some where, is having the miraculous experience of having a baby.

This is it!

2010-09-08T11:12:00.000-07:00

Well I met with Dr. Q today and once again my blood pressure was up. That coupled with the size of the baby means we get to meet her... TONIGHT! We are headed to the hospital as soon as Derek gets home from work to be induced. I am nervous and anxious about all the discomfort that comes with labor but I am really ready to be done being pregnant and really ready to meet our little Clara. The next time I post I will have tons of pictures, I am sure. Plus, a birth story... my last one! WOO HOO! :) See you all then!

38 Weeks 3 days....

2010-09-07T15:05:00.001-07:00

So today I had an ultrasound to see how big our "little" one is getting. Four weeks ago she was measuring about 6 pounds 7 ounces. That's big for my babies. She was in the 83rd percentile and about a pound and a half ahead of where Brianna was at the same stage... eek! So last week Dr. Q said she wanted me to have another ultrasound to see if her growth had continued or if it slowed down. Well this morning she weighed in at about 9.5 pounds!!!! With 11 days to go until my due date!!!! AHHH! I am freaking out a little. I have an appointment with the doctor in the morning and am pretty sure this baby is coming... SOON! I am SWOLLEN big time and achy so I am ready. I have completed everything on my to-do list and am just using today to catch up on laundry. I am nervous but ready. I really hope that she fits... eeeeeek.
Here is the belly today:
(sorry the pic's not great)

Maternity Pictures

2010-09-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

I always said I would do it... but never did... maternity pictures. A friend of mine is a budding professional and generously did these for me, free of charge (it's all about who you know) :) I figured this was my last chance to get it done. Last pregnancy and only 4.5 weeks left to go (at the time of the pictures). Plus, this is the first pregnancy I haven't had acne like a 14 year old... and I am tan because it's summer. That's about as good as it is going to get.
(All pictures are copyrighted and property of Quiet Stars Photography)
Here are my favorites:

And one of the girls because it was the only one that really came out of them (they were stinkers galore!):

37 Weeks

2010-08-31T14:12:00.000-07:00

Well I had my 37 week appointment today. I am happy to report that my blood pressure is back to normal... SO glad. I didn't want to be induced because of high blood pressure. I am disappointed that I am only 1 cm dilated and Miss Clara's head is NOT engaged yet. I was hoping for more progress so that there was a stronger possibility of me going early on my own but that's okay. Dr. Q wants me to have another ultrasound next week to see how big she is getting. I am a little nervous about that because she was 6.5 pounds three weeks ago... who knows how big she will be by next week. We shall see. I know if she is measuring a lot bigger than the girls were she is going to talk induction. I will update when we know more.

Not a baby anymore...

2010-08-28T14:18:00.000-07:00

Brianna is a very smart girl. It really does surprise me still and often makes me forget that she is only a little over two years old. Lately she has started to look more and more like a little girl and less and less like a toddler (which she still is). However, we decided that she needed a haircut because her hair had three different lengths from the way it grew out from being a baby. While I was anxious for her hair to be less stringy and uneven I hesitated because I knew that would make her look more "grown up" and less like my baby... which she won't be in just a few weeks here. So I finally bit the bullet and tonight after her bath I cut it!! I cut about 1.5 inches off and it looks great! It is still long enough to put up in a ponytail but it looks a lot better... and more grown up. She did a great job while I was cutting it though. I put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and she was glued :)

Getting started:

The cutting begins:

Final result from the back:

Happy girl with a new haircut:

Kitsap County Fair

2010-08-26T13:51:00.000-07:00

I love the fair. The sights, sounds, smells, everything.... well, except the cost. So, we try to do it as cheaply as possible. The nice thing about being a stay at home mom is that my schedule is fairly open, especially in the summer. So, whenever the fair has a "free until noon" day we are there! Derek does NOT like the fair so that makes it even easier because he is always working during the free times. So yesterday we went to the Kitsap County Fair. We ate fair scones (SO yummy) and had smoothies (it was actually hot). I even bought scone mix to make for Derek since that is the one part of the fair he actually likes. :) We saw ALL the animals and even took in a kid's show that the girls got to participate in. Audrey did this last year too. We really did have a blast and I am hoping that all the walking helped me dilate some. We shall see next week on the 31st!

Here are a few pictures of our day:

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36 weeks

2010-08-23T13:42:00.000-07:00

Less than one month until my due date!! Crazy! I feel like I have been pregnant for a long time but at the same time it has gone quickly. I had a doctor's appointment today. After waiting FOREVER to get in we discovered I had high blood pressure, for the first time in my life. It was concerning to my doctor but since it has never happened before we are going to wait and see what happens next week at my appointment. Hopefully it will go down and not be an issue. I am not at all dilated yet but that's not entirely shocking since I have almost four weeks left. I am hoping that changes by next week and maybe Clara will come early all on her own so that I don't have to be induced. I have started swelling in the afternoons/evenings and that's no fun but normal. I am hoping that next week I can report something more exciting :) Until then, here is me at 36 weeks:

Babymoon

2010-08-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

Derek and I have had many weekends without kids in the four years and seven months since we started having kids. The girls have wonderful grandparents who adore them and love to have them over whenever we need a break... and sometimes even if we don't ask!!! In all the weekends and overnights they have spent away we have never actually gone and done anything. We usually just spend the time at home and with friends, not that there is anything wrong with that. However, we decided that before baby number three makes her big debut we should try to get away for a weekend just the two of us... since we haven't gone anywhere just the two of us since our honeymoon. Luckily Derek got back to work in May and we were able to save up for a short trip. After LOTS of research to find the best place for the best price we decided on Long Beach, WA. It was well priced and right on the beach. Not as big of a tourist area as Ocean Shores and therefore less expensive. It was a great little town with tons of food and cute shops. AND! it was close enough to Oregon that we went down to Astoria and Cannon Beach. We were able to see various spots that were used in the movie The Goonies... one of our old time favorites. We had such a good time.
The girls also had a blast. They spent three days with my mom and Kenny and were spoiled rotten. They went to McDonald's, Chuck E. Cheese and even spent a night at The Great Wolf Lodge - an indoor water park/lodge that we have here. They had so much fun and were exhausted when we picked them up on Sunday night.

Here is a slide show of what Derek and I did on our vacation:

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34 Weeks

2010-08-09T13:15:00.000-07:00

Only about 6 weeks until my due date. My body hurts and I am exhausted. However we got to see Clara today and I am so excited to meet her. She is weighing in at 6 pounds 7 ounces as of right now (83rd percentile) and my OB is hoping I go early. We shall see. Brianna was only 4 pounds 12 ounces at a 33 week ultrasound so Clara is quite a bit bigger. Eek...
I have only gained 5 pounds and the swelling hasn't quite started. We'll see where I end up with all of that. I am thankful for a mild summer but I do wish the weather would be a little more consistent.
Here is the most recent belly picture:

Here is Miss Clara's face... she is getting quite squished so it isn't great but there she is:

Sunshine

2010-07-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

We have been having an up and down summer for sure... weather wise, that is. For the most part it has been fairly mild but then we will be hit with a few hot days. While I am not at all upset that it isn't HOT, being 7+ months pregnant, I do yearn for a little more consistency. Luckily we have taken FULL advantage of all the sun does have to offer when it is out. We have spent many hours at various beaches having a good ol' time and trying not to burn our pasty-ness. :) As I get more and more pregnant it gets harder and harder to do a lot with the girls by myself. My sciatic nerve acts up just standing at the stove cooking dinner... walking for long periods of time (especially if a stroller is involved) is not really an option anymore. So the beach is perfect. There is no playground equipment for me to have to rescue Brianna from and both girls aren't too sure of playing in the ocean (besides the fact that it is bone-numbingly cold) so they don't wander out into the water past their ankles much. Plus, they LOVE playing in the sand. We went to Wal-Mart and purchased some sand toys and it was the best money we ever spent. While I always feel like we bring home half the beach with us it is worth it to spend the time outside and watch the girls enjoy the beaches. It's even more fun when we are able to go with friends, which we try to do as often as possible.

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Northwest Trek

2010-07-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

For Christmas my mother-in-law bought us a membership to a local zoo. The girls LOVE the zoo and all animals. No matter how many times we go, they never get bored with it. Our membership also gets us into another place called Northwest Trek for a discounted price. It is like a zoo where there are exhibits and also like a game farm where you can ride around in the trams provided in the "open area" where a good portion of the animals roam free and you can watch them in their natural habitat. The neat thing is that all the animals are native to the Northwest. So we decided on a sunny Friday that Derek had off (thank you 4 - 10's) to take the girls there. They had such a blast. They loved looking at all the animals and the tram ride was a hit. It was so relaxing Brianna even fell asleep at some point in the hour we were on the tram. As a parent it is so fun getting to do these things and watch my children experience them for the first time. Makes it that much more enjoyable.

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Tiny Ballerinas

2010-07-22T12:26:00.000-07:00

Brianna is a girly-girl! She loves anything girly and has wanted to do ballet with Audrey really badly. It's heart-breaking to take Audrey to ballet with Brianna watching and asking when her class is. Unfortunately, at the school Audrey goes to they are supposed to be three years old before they can start pre-ballet. They told me that for younger siblings they will lower it to 2.5 years if a teacher works with them and sees that they can handle the class. So for the summer session (seven weeks long) we decided to put Brianna in the mom and me class. Well, apparently no one else signed up for the class so they asked me if they could just stick Brianna in the same class as Audrey and I could just sit in and help as needed with Bri. Well, she did awesome. There were times that she needed some extra help and there were times that she physically couldn't do all the things the bigger girls could do (like hopping on one foot). She is officially a ballerina now (which she LOVES) and has been approved to take pre-ballet with Audrey in September. Here are some pics of my tiny ballerinas:

Seven Years

2010-07-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

On July 19, 2003 Derek and I were married. It seems like so long ago because so much has happened and at the same time, not so much. We are best friends (yes, I know that sounds cheesy) and share everything with each other. We have fun hanging out and I am more in love with him now than I was 7 years ago. He is a fantastic father and it melts me each time I see him with our girls. Happy Anniversary, Derek! Here's to 70 more!! :)

Vintage Us:

Us Now:
We decided to go out for a nice dinner to celebrate and then next month we are going out of town, just the two of us, for the first time since our honeymoon!!! Woo HOO! Stay tuned for a post about that :)

Annual Strawberry Picking

2010-07-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Starting last year we decided we would take a lovely drive up to Sequim, WA once a year to pick yummy strawberries from Graysmarsh Farm. The drive is spectacular and the girls LOVE picking berries. Watching the girls hunt through the leaves for the just the right strawberries is such a fun experience. They look for just the right berries.. some times they get it right and some times they come back with some VERY red berried hands.

But they have so much fun doing it.
They helped each other out this year with Audrey constantly reminding Brianna that you only pick the red ones because the green ones aren't ready yet.

And while adults could easily sit on the ground and spend 10 minutes or more on one patch to get all the berries possible, my girls move on as soon as they get one or two berries. Because if you cover more ground you'll get the best berries, right?

Then there is the lavender....Graysmarsh Farm harvests a lot more than just berries, they have a huge lavender field as well. I have never gone to pick the lavender because, honestly, I don't know what I would do with it. But it is one of my favorite smells in the whole world. I also love the way it looks. The dark green just subtly tipped with dark purple. So simple and elegant.

My big girl in the lavender field... we always take a walk around the field before leaving the farm.

Brianna in the lavender field.

We never stay for much time and the drive is kind of long for the amount of time we spend there but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Watching them enjoying the outdoors and the luscious berries is more than worth the time it takes to get there. Plus, they take such pride in the strawberry shortcake we have later because they picked the berries. Yum! :)